


Hard Contact

by AlterImpulse



Category: Xenogears
Genre: Anal Sex, Checking in, Declarations Of Love, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Enthusiastic Consent, Explicit Consent, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sex, Gentle Sex, Kissing, Loud Sex, Love, Lovers, M/M, One True Pairing, Orgasm, PWP, Relationship Discussions, Romantic Gestures, Rough Sex, Some Plot, Threesome - M/M/M, Triggers, True Love, alter threesome, becomes kind of rough again, reference to choking but it's not shown, romantic sex, rough sex becomes gentle sex, threesome with Id, triggers being respected
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 01:31:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17653457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlterImpulse/pseuds/AlterImpulse
Summary: Fei and Id have different ideas of what they want, and Citan wants to give both of them what they want. PWP for the most part.





	Hard Contact

He noticed it - the way Fei’s body seemed to tense, the suddenly almost vacant look in his eyes. “Are you all right? Do you want me to stop?” The words came in a trembling voice. They felt difficult for Citan to say, with his own mind and body being so overwhelmed by this point.

But he would never betray Fei’s trust in him again, not with the guilt he felt for his deception in being a Solaris spy, even if Fei had forgiven him for his divided loyalties, for his forcing Id to appear, by making him feel threatened out of sheer curiosity and anger, for… everything.

Citan had vowed never to harm him in this, though, and that meant far more than his body’s needs. He withdrew at Fei’s silent nod, and moved away from him, despite his mind’s urging to hold him, to touch him even if-

“You… you actually did.” Fei looked at him, almost in awe, as he seemed to regain some degree of presence. “I knew we agreed, but… I always worried if we got too far… you wouldn’t-“

Those words hurt to hear. That Fei worried he would be violated in the same way he had once been by another, felt as painful as if he had fallen upon his sword through the heart. “But now you know, do you not?”

“I love you,” Fei whispered, and lay there on the bed. “I… would have kept on if you needed that-“

“Love should not mean pain. I know you would have, for me, and that is why I asked you-“

Fei reached out for him, a slow embrace. “I… he didn’t like how you had your hands on my neck. I asked for that, but he… he was screaming in my head and I was beginning to drift off and…”

“I understand.” He held him close to himself. “That is a bit rough for Id, is it not? He feels it is threatening?”

“Yes.” Fei said, and seemed to let out a sigh of relief. “I… liked it, but when I couldn’t breathe, it reminded him of when someone tried to choke us while he was fighting.” His lips on his, for another kiss. “I want to try something else.”

“Then, Fei… would you enjoy it if I simply laid beneath you, and you sat on top? Yui would do it like that, and she enjoyed it. I’m certain you will as well.” He kissed Fei, his lips and tongue stroking Fei’s, and he allowed himself to abandon himself to the intensity of that kiss, the passion as Fei kissed back.

“No… not this time,” Fei broke from the kiss, and Citan felt his fingers rest on his face. “I need to do this. To kiss you, to touch you, to feel you and look into your eyes and know it’s you…”

“Then, we shall do that.” He smiled at Fei, and held him tightly for another kiss as Fei threw his legs over his shoulders, their bodies pressed tightly together in an embrace, Fei’s hands on his back. “May I enter you again?”

“Yes!” Fei screamed it, before claiming his lips in another passionate kiss.

Citan stroked himself with a handful of the lubricant once, twice more, feeling the rush of blood back into  _ there _ , his body responding so fast it almost took him by surprise that he didn’t need more time after stopping and talking about everything, and it felt so good to sink back into Fei’s body, to feel his muscles clench around his cock, to hear Fei’s moans into the sloppy, intense kisses they shared.

“That feels good to you?” he whispered, in a shaky voice, when he could find the words again. “Or-“

“So good…” Fei whispered back, then grunted and rocked his hips against him. “Like that! There! Yes!”

He let one of his own hands rest upon Fei’s face, as they kissed again and again, and he slowed his pace as he felt himself nearing the point of no return. He knew Fei wanted more, needed more at this point, from the way he moved, from the moans and sighs at first, then Fei crying out in pleasure as his body seemed to draw him in deeper.

“You are perfect,” he softly said, as Fei’s breaths became heavier, faster against him, and looked into those eyes. Without his glasses, they seemed slightly blurry, but that visual change made them look stunning, as if he were looking into deep pools of pure gold light as Fei shifted just slightly. The look of intense lust, need… “Both of you,” Citan added, with another kiss.

Fei bore down on him harder, with a loud grunt. “I’m so tight…”

Citan stroked his face as he looked into those eyes, so focused on him, that intense look of love and lust and need and… everything. “Would you wish for me to open you up a bit?” he asked, and Fei nodded, a smile forming on his lips. He moved faster, deep thrusts with Fei’s pushes, an almost overwhelming feeling building within him as Fei squirmed against him in their embrace. “My Anonelbe…”

“Oh, yes!” Fei cried out, and held onto him. “Yes, yes, honey, like that, oh it’s, I’m…”

“You wish to come?” Citan asked with another kiss, as Fei shivered against him. That Fei no longer called him “Doc” or his name, but “honey,” he had never heard  _ that _ before, but it felt almost right. He felt himself so close to the edge of his own release, but he could hold back a little longer if Fei asked to wait once more…

“We don’t wish, we  _ need _ ,” the voice responded, and Citan recognized it as Id’s, and yet the adrenaline of fear felt like its own thrill, enough that he moved his hands to that spot on Fei’s back and moved faster, harder, his own need finally driving his body rather than his rational mind, entirely focused on his senses.

The feeling of touch itself overwhelmed him with delight, the sight of Fei beneath him, in his arms, Fei’s body writhing in pleasure from  _ his _ hands and  _ his _ cock even more so as he screamed, a hot splash of sticky wetness against Citan’s chest. The smell of Fei’s come and his and Fei’s sweat and the metallic smoke smell that hung in both their hair after a recent battle and yet the smell of paint and a soft floral shampoo and cologne, the scent Fei wore just for him when they were about to make love...and the taste of his soft lips that was only his own and the green tea they had shared... and the soft buzz of energy Fei’s body contained, that no other body he had felt against him in this act had...

Then Citan felt it, the tension in his body entirely release, his mind, for that one moment, going entirely blank with pleasure, a moan that he felt came from his entire body as he slumped against Fei, entirely unable in that moment to do anything else.

“Mmm.” Fei kissed him once again, a soft, slow kiss, as he slipped out of his body and flopped onto his back on the bed. He kissed him back, and wanted to say something, anything, but in that moment, Citan felt absolutely lost for words, as he gave in to the post-orgasmic tiredness, and felt himself drifting into a much-needed sleep as Fei lay in his arms, his head on his chest listening to his heart.

_ I am entirely yours, Fei Fong Wong _ ,  _ Id, whomever you may be,  _ he thought in those last moments awake.  _ How I became so, I do not know, but I am. _

**Author's Note:**

> Real people don't shapeshift, and the great majority of people with DID or similar dissociative disorders are not violent like Fei's alter Id. Here's links for real, researched info. Don't get your info on dissociation and DID from Xenogears, okay? :)
> 
> https://themighty.com/2017/10/how-to-help-dissociative-episode/
> 
> https://themighty.com/2016/10/what-dissociation-feels-like/
> 
> https://themighty.com/2016/06/self-care-tips-for-dissociation/
> 
> https://www.nami.org/learn-more/mental-health-conditions/dissociative-disorders
> 
> https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dissociative-disorders/symptoms-causes/syc-20355215
> 
> Any practice, act, or kink depicted in this story is not depicted for my own sake but for what I thought would fit the characters. It is a fictional story. Do not imitate or replicate any acts of violence, sex, or anything else depicted in this story. If you are under 18 years of age, close this page immediately, and if someone has shown it to you/directed you toward it, please be aware they are abusing you.


End file.
